I Want To Believe
by Tobe-San
Summary: For six months, Tony fights to survive in a prison where he is beaten and forced to work endless hours daily. When he returns home, he is desperate to give meaning to the pain and suffering he endured.


Warmth had become a distant memory. Each morning, he would be forced from his bunker and made to stand in line. The coughs threatening to rip free from his throat were made to remain imprisoned. A sign of sickness meant immediate death. He glanced around, noticing the several hundred men gathered. No one appeared healthy. Each individual around him was fighting to remain upright. Everyone had been shaved and their clothing replaced with a thin uniform, fabric that would not stand a chance against the blistering cold.

"How interesting." A voice purred, "The glorious Anthony Edward Stark has been reduced to nothing."

Dread consumed him. Tony raised his head and squinted due to the blinding sunlight, but he noticed the man standing before him was Justin Hammer. He could feel the nausea overwhelming his senses. He should have known that he was the one responsible for the imprisonment. He exhaled shakily.

"On your hands and knees, swine. You will follow me like the animal you are." Hammer sneered before turning on his heel and heading in the opposite direction.

Six months without proper nutrition, constant physical exertion and no privacy destroyed whatever pride he had. Without uttering a single word, Tony dropped onto the ground and began following Hammer like an animal. He thanked the other men for not watching him become less of a man. What he had become was far from human, worse than a dog.

There were no more tears left to shed. He exhausted his tear ducts on the third night. Around the fourth month, he could barely remember where he had been the moment he was captured. Then the fifth month arrived and he could no longer remember what his friends sounded like. He fought to remember their voices. For the long and dreadful nights, they had been his saving grace.

One of the guards shoved Tony forward. His head was pressed against the ground by a boot and he was made to watch as Hammer prepared the television to his right. Within seconds, there were flashing lights in his face. Fear surged throughout his entire body. He flinched and squeezed his eyes shut.

Hammer could be heard cackling. The sound engraining itself within his mind. "I have broken Tony Stark!" He shouted, throwing his head back to continue his frightening laughter.

Though the lights continued flashing, Tony fought to open his eyes. He discovered the faces of his friends on the screen and he could feel the sob strangling him. His fingers twitched against the ground as he watched the Captain cover his mouth in horror. Bruce needed to leave the room before he lost his temper and endangered the entire building. Natasha and Clint were standing behind the Captain, whispering reassurances into his ears. But the blonde soldier could not tear his eyes from the man he had once known.

Whomever was standing on his head forced him harder against the ground. Despite the pain, Tony refused to close his eyes and watched Steve on the screen. He wanted to scream a million things. Since he entered the prison, he dreamt about what he would say when he saw Steve again but a word could not be found on his tongue.

Blood coated his mouth from the beating he received the afternoon before. There were bruises covering his entire face and he could feel a broken bone rubbing against the inside of his skin. His cheeks were sunken in, his eyes were surrounded by permanent black bags and his collar bone was visible beneath his uniform. Even the shoes he wore looked several sizes too large for his malnourished form.

"I have been waiting for this precise moment to murder your dear friend." Hammer hummed, "But I think I should make him suffer a while longer and see what he looks like in another six months. To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't found him hanging from the electric fences. I thought a man like him would rather die than become submissive. But I suppose even the great Tony Stark is afraid of something."

The boot was removed and he was yanked onto his knees. He could feel the sharp edges of the rock slicing his flesh, but the pain was welcomed and he basked in the feeling of being alive. Hammer turned to smile at him. "Punish him." He ordered.

As the first punch sent blood spewing onto the ground, he heard Steve screaming amidst the violence. He could barely catch him while the men showered him with sheer pain. Bones shattered and skin tore beneath their knuckles. But he still could not shed a single tear. Even when the beating had come to an end, he watched the clouded skies above him without any emotion.

Hammer kicked the side where he was positive there were several broken ribs. He turned to face the Avengers with an enthusiastic smile on his face, like he had done something that the world would be proud of. "Thank you for enjoying the show, ladies and gentlemen. Our star, Tony Stark should return to his daily duties. Men, would you escort our pathetic dog to the ditches? I want him digging until tomorrow morning. No exceptions." He said.

Someone reached beneath his arms and began dragging him from the television. Even without being able to hear from a distance, Tony understood that Steve was threatening to murder Hammer in the most gruesome manner humanely possible. Of course, Hammer believed he was invincible and laughed in response.

Tony could feel happiness spread throughout his chest. He heard their voices and could use what happened as motivation to continue throughout the endless days and nights. His head turned to the side where he witnessed various men being shot in the head. From what he could see, the prisoners were diverse. No specific group of people was being targeted.

There were women somewhere located inside the prison. Though he was never allowed to see them, he heard their screams and cries throughout the night. He wondered how Hammer could have captured hundreds of people without any form of government noticing. There were people from every country trapped within the prison. He heard men communicating with each other in numerous languages.

Once he reached the ditches, he was thrown forward. He landed beside one of the prisoners and was forced to stand upright. The present guard on duty whipped him. He winced, feeling as though someone had poured liquid fire over his back. He grabbed onto the nearest shovel and fought to survive until the morning.

Seven o'clock in the evening came. The prisoners beside him were gathered and sent to their bunkers. But he was forced to continue working in the ditches. He could feel the blood and sweat staining his uniform. His movements were becoming sluggish. Whenever he breathed, white pain blinded him. He feared what his body looked like beneath the clothing.

Something landed on his cheek. He raised his head to discover the ground was covered with snow and what had landed on his cheek was a snowflake. The blistering cold shook him to the core, but he continued pushing forward. By the time morning came, he was trembling violently in the ditches with purple lips and blue fingertips.

One of the guards entered the ditches and retrieved him. He was taken to the bunker where he was tossed onto the damp ground. He discovered that Hammer had taken away his sole source of comfort. The wooden bunk he had been sharing with several other men had been disassembled.

He pressed his cheek to the ground. He watched the men move around him and prepare for work. The men he shared the bunk with were glaring holes through his head. Because Hammer decided that he did not deserve to be comfortable, they were suffering. Tony attempted to show how apologetic he was but he had become numb.

His last thought as he drifted into a painless sleep was that he wished he would die in his sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes, he found that he was being carried. Golden locks blinded his vision and he could feel warmth seeping through his pores. Someone in the distance was speaking to him but he was focused on the person holding him. Baby blue eyes glanced downward to capture his gaze. His breath caught in his throat.

"Ste…" His voice was hoarse.

He had not spoken a single word in four months. The first two months had been spent attempting to escape from the prison and liberate the others inside. He became silent when one of the guards beat him to the point of unconsciousness. He had been through torture in Afghanistan and should have been able to handle a simple beating, but something about the abuse broke him.

A frightened shout escaped his mouth. Steve attempted to lower and release him, but fear pulsed throughout his veins. He could not leave his side or Hammer would return and capture him again. His stained nails dug into his shoulders and he fought to pull him closer. He continued making pathetic sounds.

"Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. It's alright. I promise, no one is going to hurt you anymore." Steve whispered into his ear.

The soldier maneuvered the malnourished billionaire and settled within the vehicle with Tony against his chest. The brunette slumped forward and laid his head in the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of Old Spice. "Ste…" He choked out.

Exhaustion plagued him. Over the following several hours, he danced between consciousness and unconsciousness. He could remember having the uniform removed and luke warm water scrubbing his bruised body. Then he heard someone sobbing in the distance. Each time, he would turn his head to find Steve there. A sense of safety washed over him, allowing him to enter another dreamless rest.

When he managed to remain conscious throughout the day, feeding him was another issue. Tony believed that someone would force him to vomit whatever food he ingested during meal time. He would watch the food and flinch whenever someone would approach him if he swallowed even a single bite.

Steve would reassure him which helped with Tony receiving whatever nutrition he lacked. Though the genius refused to eat more than needed to survive, it was enough for the moment. It became another issue he would need to address in therapy. Tony went over the issues he developed over the course of his entire life. An eating disorder, destructive tendencies, alcoholism, lack of impulse control, low self-esteem. The list went on.

Steve spent hours beside the billionaire and was never far from him. In fact, the soldier was found more often than not wrapped around him. While Tony struggled with recovering from the traumatic experience he had been through, Steve fought not to become overprotective and paranoid of those around Tony.

But like always, they survived.

One year had passed since then. The moon had become a constant for Tony, something that never changed. He found that he was comforted by the sight and decided that he would remove the blackout setting for the bedroom windows. He laid across Steve amidst a massive bed, thinking about the nights spent in the cold.

"Over two hundred men committed suicide during my time there. Then there were another couple hundred that were killed in cold blood. Every time I close my eyes, I can see their bodies being tossed into the ditches. A massive grave I had made." He pressed a light kiss to his chest. "I wish I could forget about those six months. A lot of good men lost their lives because Hammer was an psychotic bastard. For a long time, I believed that I was as bad as him because not even Iron Man could save them. But I'm only human. From the beginning, I knew I couldn't save everyone and that's okay as long as I try my best."

Steve nodded in response. "Whether you were captured or not, those men would have died. I learned that lesson the hard way during the war and I can still remember finding those bodies laying forgotten. But in the end, we are only human beings. Not Iron Man nor Captain America could have prevented what Hammer did. I'm not sure God could have either." He said softly.

"I want to believe it means something." Tony whispered.

Steve reached beside them and grabbed onto the tablet resting on the nightstand. He unlocked the device, searching for something and made a light sound when he found whatever it was. Then he showed the photograph they had been sent earlier. One of the men that had been imprisoned alongside Tony was reunited with his daughter in France.

"For one year, he survived inside the prison. He fought through sickness and torture. He soldiered through endless hours of work. Nothing but pain. The prize he received for his endurance was his daughter." Steve displayed another picture of the family. "So it does mean something. It means he was strong enough to return home."

He tossed the tablet aside. In one move, he was hovering above Tony and the brunette watched him with curious eyes. A single finger ran along his lower lip and Steve leaned forward to capture a kiss. He poured every ounce of love he felt for the man into the kiss. He pulled away enough to speak but close enough that their lips brushed when he parted his lips.

"Your strength brought you home to me."

* * *

Thank you for reading! This story can also be found on by the user tobezilla. I would like to say that tobezilla is my account and I am sharing my stories on here as well. Thanks again!

Love,

Tobe


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